Finding a Balance

One of the questions I ask myself all the time is, “how am I ever going to get it all done?” and I still don’t know the answer. I think the more important question is “What do I need to get done to feel ok?”

I study part time and have a 6 and a half month old baby. I also need to take care of myself (Ha!) and sometimes I attempt to keep my surroundings nice (run the vacuum and re-wash the laundry that’s been in the machine for a few days). I often feel like there is a lot of pressure both from myself and from the outside to get the balance right.

It was my choice to have a baby while setting out on my PhD journey. Some people seemed to think it was a terrible idea. Luckily there were enough people, including me, who thought it was doable and so I am giving it a real go. For me it’s been a godsend to have a special project that is about something I love. It’s also a good career step so I don’t feel like mat leave is causing me to fall behind and it makes me feel like a grown up even in the midst of dirty nappies and a million squeaky toys.

At the same time it’s hard. It’s hard enough to get your world together when you have a baby without an extra project to worry about. I have had a particularly hard time coming to terms with everything and getting into a day-to-day rhythm and then to add study to the mix – well I may be crazy!

But this is my thing. I want to do it and it makes me happy. So achieving the balance isn’t at all about getting it all done. For me its about letting go and accepting that some things just aren’t going to get done but thats ok. Maybe we’ll eat frozen dinners instead of meals made from scratch or maybe I won’t get out of my pyjamas today but if we’re all getting by and there’s no harm done then who’s complaining? Whatever works for me and my family is where I find my balance.

One day at a time. Whatever works. – Today a Nutella Freakshake works 😉

RM

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